How to piss in a urinal with no splashback

 *http://www.porcelainpoetry.faketrix.com

I heard many man experience a splash back when using a urinal. Some go as far as to piss in a stall, making others think he is a pussy. I am feeling generous today and decided I will share the secret of pissing in a urinal with no splash back.

This is the most common urinal that I see. Many men have tried pissing anywhere from a direct stream to the back wall of the urinal to pissing almost straight down onto the urinal cake or rubber mat. Neither strategies will work along with anything in between.

The secret to success has less to do with aiming up or down and more to do with with aiming right or left. What you are aiming for is an angle that is close to the angle of your stream. You can get close by pissing almost straight down, but the urinal cat or mat will cause splash back.

The best option is to use the very sides of the urinal. On most urinals you can find some where to aim that works best. The image above shows how to do this. The "X" is where you aim, and the "O" would be the tip of your penis. You aim you penis so you get a stream 30 to 45 degrees. Wherever it naturally goes.

Now, let the piss just flow out, don't blast it or you may get a little splash back (certainly less than blasting it directly though). Above is a diagram giving you a bird's eye view.  I paid an artist $5000 to make it look good.  Try it out. It may take a several tries to perfect it to your personal piss, but it is the best method.

Wash you fucking hands when you're done! That does mean just rinse them with water and take off. Use soap, wash thoroughly. If you wear a suit or fancy clothes at your work, you are probably guilty of this. I don't care if you are douchey fancy pants, you got an extra 10 seconds to use soap!

That's it. Leave your piss tips in the comments. Follow me if you like my shit. Donate some money, I spent all mine on drugs.