I'm willing to bet most of you already hate these bastards, but I figured we can all take shots at the spokespeople and the companies that put them on television.
5 Hour Energy Guy
This guys smug look of self satisfaction makes me want to punch a baby. And his little looks of "Come on. Really? Your dumb ass still drinks coffee?" makes me want to insert a large, pointy, BenGay covered object into his rectum. On top of that, he is suggesting you use it to get more work done at your shitty office job where the real reason you can't work harder is because you're dead inside.
State Farm Insurance Guy
This asshole really grinds my gears. Another smug looking mother fucker judging people for the ways they are trying to save money. Maybe they wouldn't have to try to save so much money if their insurance company wasn't dicking them over. Most bankruptcies are from health care costs, and of those cases, most of the people have insurance. Then, he goes and interrupts that chick who looks like Kim from Matt and Kim non-stop. She should have falcon punched him in the throat.
5 Hour Energy Mom
She walks into the scene and I immediately can tell she is a major bitch. Then, she claims that she was nervous to try 5 Hour Energy. Nervous? It's not meth, it's a nasty tasting, overpriced, energy drink that no one I know that has tried it thinks it works. Then, she talks shit about her husband right in front of him. He doesn't say anything because he probably has gave up on any chance of a happy marriage or just shutting this bitch up.
That's all I got for now. I'm sure I'm missing one. Let me know in the comments if you can think of another and I'll add it to the list.
